Scripts

The Lord's Prayer

Content & purpose - Not written by CADS - a very funny sketch, looking at the power of the words we say in the Lord's prayer, and what God must be thinking of us when we pray it

Cast - 2 people (1 man, 1 either) - Man and God

Starting positions - Probably best with the Man kneeling centre stage, looking very devout. God should be a voice from offstage.

Man:
Our Father in heaven…
God:
Yes?
Man:
Please don't interrupt me, I'm praying
God:
But you called me.
Man:
Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying to our Father in heaven.
God:
There, you did it again.
Man:
Did what?
God:
Called me. You said 'our Father in Heaven'. So, here I am. What's on your mind?
Man:
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, well, you know, just saying my prayers. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, like getting a job done.
God:
All right, go on.
Man:
Hallowed be your name…
God:
Now then. What exactly do you mean by that?
Man:
By what?
God:
By 'hallowed be your name'?
Man:
It means…it means… good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
God:
It means honoured, holy.
Man:
Ah, that makes sense… I'd never thought what it meant before… Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
God:
Do you really mean that?
Man:
Of course I do.
God:
So what are you going to do about it?
Man:
Do? I hadn't thought of doing anything… I just think it would be rather good if you had control of everything down here, as you have up there.
God:
Are you prepared to do my will?
Man:
Well, I go to church.
God:
That isn't what I asked… Are you prepared to do my will?
Man:
Please don't pick on me! I'm just as good as anyone else.
God:
I'm sorry, but I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen it must begin with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example.
Man:
Lord, I've got a busy day ahead and this is taking a lot longer than it usually does… Give us today our daily bread.
God:
Now wait a minute. There's not a time limit to praying. Why not give a minute's thought to those who have no food today?
Man:
Hang on, what is this? 'Criticise me day'? Here I am doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and interrupt me!
God:
Prayer is a dangerous occupation. You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called me and I'm here. It's too late to stop now. Keep on praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer… (pause)… Well?… Go on…
Man:
I'm not sure I want to.
God:
Why not?
Man:
I'm afraid.
God:
Afraid? Of what?
Man:
I know what you'll say.
God:
Try me and see.
Man:
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.
God:
Isn't there someone you haven't forgiven?
Man:
I knew it! I knew you would bring that up. You can't possibly understand what they've done to me.
God:
I understand what men did to my son when they nailed him to the cross. He forgave them that. When you forgive others, then you will be able to receive forgiveness
Man:
But Lord, I can't forgive them.
God:
Can't you? You can, you know.
Man:
…all right, I forgive them.
God:
Are you sure?
Man:
Yes, I think I do… Yes, I do forgive them.
God:
That's good. Are you going on with the prayer?
Man:
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
God:
What do you mean by that?
Man:
Well… err… umm… err… I don't understand.
God:
I think you do. You must let me tell you what is right and what is wrong. And never deliberately have anything to do with evil things for that will mean you are turning your back on me.
Man:
(Pause)… I'm sorry, Lord.
God:
All right, now you can finish your prayer.
Man:
For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever. Amen.

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This page last updated 22nd Nov, 2003.
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